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The Legalization of Gay Marriage: An Opportunity to Reinvent Ourselves

Posted on Jun 30, 2015 by Trevor in Religion

Aileen Clyde, former first counselor in the General Relief Society, described the preparation leading up to their October 1995 General Conference session:

[O]ur presidency and board had been working for a whole year on putting together the General [Relief Society] meeting, which we wanted to focus on families of faith within the church who had all kinds of differences. There were families with father, mother, and children at home. There were single-parent families, in some cases the father being head of the household, in some cases the mother.

However, this preparation by the Relief Society was set aside. Instead of watching a conference session in which many different types of families in the church were highlighted, with examples of how they had utilized the principles of the gospel to grow stronger, though, Mormons watched a session in which the Proclamation to the Family was read. So began the church’s lengthy emphasis on “traditional” families.

Twenty years later now, we’ve just watched the Supreme Court rule in favor of marriage equality. Despite the intense, sustained efforts of many religions and organizations and countless millions of dollars spent in court battles, this was an inevitable outcome, one way or another, in my opinion. We’ve wasted untold amounts of goodwill in the process, made scores of people feel unwelcome in our church, and become known in many circles as an anti-LGBT religion.

Is this really what we wanted?

Many Mormons like to say things like, “I’m not anti-LGBT, I’m just standing for traditional marriage”, but who are they trying to kid? That sounds pretty much the same as, “I’m not against black people, I just don’t believe they should have a right to vote.” C’mon, let’s be honest. The chickens have come home to roost, and our most prominent campaigns in the public square have deservedly earned us this reputation.

So let’s change that.

This Supreme Court ruling is a gift. It’s a chance for us to change our direction.

Instead of being known as a church that’s anti-LGBT, let’s become known as a religion that’s truly pro-family. By that, I mean let’s become known for fighting to strengthen and defend all families, regardless of shape or composition. Instead of digging our heels in further and devoting increasingly more of our curriculum to “defending traditional families”, in the process isolating and marginalizing every family that’s different (whether they have a gay child, adoptions, divorces, fertility issues, or single adults), let’s recognize and seize the reality that all families need and deserve support.

Let’s become known for being a religion that’s the first to open its doors to others when disaster strikes. I’ve seen awesome times in the past when our buildings were opened to serve people uprooted from their homes due to floods or hurricanes. Let’s become known for channeling our efforts and time into causes like that.

In light of the recent shootings in Emanuel A.M.E. Church in Charleston, what if we had mobilized the notable resources of all the surrounding stakes to help our fellow Christians out in some way?

I’ve seen news reports of several black churches this last week that have been targeted by arsonists or experienced other destructive accidents. What if we had opened our doors and offered to let these brothers and sisters hold their meetings in our buildings until their own chapels are fixed or rebuilt?

What if we became known for proactive engagements in causes like this instead of being known for what we opposed?

This is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves.

Tags: family, featured